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Press Release II --- Cow Party --- Campaign Committee --- 22 October 2003
The Cow Party announced a change in their slate of candidates today. Clover, the spokesman for the party, said, "Forget the bull. We thought it was unusual when he did not return our email. Then we remembered what being a young executive in the veal business probably means.
"For our second Council seat we introduce, Judy, who resides further south in Spafford on the Burns farm. (We are not going to take any more chances on bulls). Judy is also a professional milk cow who has served the community in that capacity for five years.
"There is also a slight change in our platform; forget the diversity, no bull. We may have to change our tax policy a bit to pay for some snowplowing in case Judy attends a meeting; those roads down south can be rough in winter." (And they better speed up that feed store, another day like this and I will need a scoop of aspirin.)
On the positive side, do you think our competition stands a chance? After all, all they have is that fellow who raises beef calves; beef, think of that. You would think any self-respecting farmer would raise dairy stock. And then there is the vegetable garden farmer – no cows at all. Who could he appeal to with vegetables? There's the lady with the flowers and the one with the goat and llama. I don't even think goats vote; well, maybe old ones do. And then there is Mr. Cold Hands and Chucky. Chucky, is that any name for a politician? Well, like I say, Poo on the competition – If we stay on message and don't become distracted by hay or something, I think we have it made. Phat City! (A little inside cow joke there).
"Think Cow Party, the party that gives you milk and butter. Remember our motto, 'Think milk and cheese, eat more chicken!'"
Press Release ICOW PARTY: Butter government...for all animals, even the two-legged ones!