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Subject: War in Afghanistan...New Special Forces Unit to be Formed
Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train
us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks,
moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop
us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us
do what comes naturally.
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard
stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make
even armed men in turbans tremble.
We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them
and their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't
left already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to
share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing
to lose.
We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet,
and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a
pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan
with no food at all!
We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars,
hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will
be no problem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh,
please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended
families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare.
Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there
is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources.
We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or
without the government's help!
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as
we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.
Posted 11/02/01 Sent to us by Debbie Burrows, of
Liverpool
Posted: 11/02/01 Sent to us by Joan Green of Liverpool
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