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News and Views Clean Jokes: from Dave Kittlaus (submitted by The Vinzants) Music will take a while to
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gardens. 40 degrees -- Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Borodino sunbathe. 35 degrees -- Italian cars won't start. People in Borodino drive with the windows down. 32 degrees -- Distilled water freezes. Borodino water gets thicker. 20 degrees -- Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Borodino throw on a T-shirt. 15 degrees -- Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Borodino go swimming. Zero degrees -- New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Borodino have the last cookout before it gets cold. 10 degrees below zero -- People in Miami cease to exist. People in Borodino lick flagpoles. 20 degrees below zero -- Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Borodino throw on a light jacket. 40 degrees below zero -- Hollywood disintegrates. People in Borodino rent videos. 60 degrees below zero -- Mt. St. Helens freezes. Borodino Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door. 80 degrees below zero -- Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Borodino Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough. 100 degrees below zero -- Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Borodino pull down their ear flaps. 173 degrees below zero -- Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Borodino get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs. 297 degrees below zero -- Microbial life start to disappear. Borodino cows complain of farmers with cold hands. 460 degrees below zero -- ALL atomic motion stops. People in Borodino start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?" 500 degrees below zero -- Hell freezes over. Syracuse Crunch wins the Stanley Cup. Your Musical
Selection: "Town Without Pity"
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